While on the cancer journey my eyes have opened so much more than they ever were! I see every person in my life with new vision and some I can say I wish I hadn’t!
Going through such a traumatic event has brought me to a state of feeling alone at times because so many around me just dont understand what I am facing and what I am going through. I am surrounded by plenty of love but there will always be those moments I am afraid.
While you learn who people are and what kind of heart they have there are moments that the world seems so loving as well as learning how evil some are and how many lack compassion.
Living in a small town knowing everyone this can be very emotional figuring out that people who you once were around everyday and thought to have been close to actually dont care about you. Sending a card or text here and there to say hey is not hard. When the days, weeks even months go by not hearing or seeing any of those once close people your perception changes. You also learn how much love others have for you and what good people there are out there and those people kind of fill the void for the ones who dont come around or make an attempt to support you in any way at all.
I have always been a person who wants to help a person in need and be there for people when I can. Fighting cancer has made me realize that even if someone isn’t fighting the same battle as me we are all at some point fighting some kind of battle of our own. Big or small everyone has a battle of their own. I never consider my battle harder or more worthy of hearing than another’s and now more than ever I want to help those I can.
I have recieved so much help that all I can hope is that I can pay it forward! I hope that I can help those around me when they need it and I hope to not only help people I know but I hope to help those facing a battle with breast cancer when sharing my experiences and feelings.
With all I have learned about people and how big of hearts some have and how small some peoples are the biggest thing I have learned is which one of the two I want to be and which I will never be!!